I’m at the point in my new Magic career where I want to pay it forward. Friends and colleagues took the time to teach me how to play this wonderful game, and now I want to show others. But, it’s been a very busy couple of weeks, so I chose an easy first pupil. I tried to teach my new baby kitten, named Sneakers, how to play Magic this weekend. It didn’t work out great.

Firstly, his attention span is abhorrent. The little guy couldn’t sit still long enough for me to even finish saying “Untap, Upkeep, Draw.” I mean, come on, Sneaky! We tried to go through the parts of turn in general, but he just wasn’t interested. He kept tapping and untapping his creatures whenever he wanted.

Screen Shot 2013-07-25 at 2.15.56 PMHis organizational skills were, to be candid, garbage. I didn’t know which cards of his were on the battlefield and which were in the graveyard.

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And he tires so easily. We didn’t even finish our first game and he needed a “nap break.” If there were a judge around I would have called for a time extension, but without one I simply had to give him a game loss. Sorry little guy. Finally, when I asked if he had any questions, he started asking me things like “Meow” and “Merreow.” I don’t think he was listening.

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Teaching new players how to play the game can be frustrating for players who have learned the ins and outs, but with patience and persistence, even the craziest kitten can turn-three kill or X-0 his draft pod. I’ll keep you up to date on his progress as a player, but for now we’re turning the tables as Sneakers teaches me how to play “Dangling Feather Thing” … I think it’s kind of like Legend of the Five Rings?

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So clearly I wasn’t too interested in Magic this weekend. It’s been a busy week and this little bugger has completely taken over my life. What a fudgin’ cutie! But, I’m about to go away on vacation, and I want to check out what the gaming shops look like in the mountains, and I’m building a Stack… which I think is, basically, a messy cube. Stay tuned! Lots of really cool stuff on the way and this little guy will be by my side the whole way. (Just have to get him to remember to draw for turn).

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