Unless you live under a rock you’ve heard about it by now. This summer’s Lord of the Rings expansion set will include a special serial numbered 1/1 double-foil collector’s version of The One Ring. Look at it in all its glory:

An image of the serial numbered 1 of 1 copy of The One Ring with text in the black script of Mordor from The Lord of the Rings.

In case you happen to be the lucky person who opens up this beautiful collector’s item, I have some friendly advice for what you should do with your new “most expensive Magic card ever printed.”

10. Put it in your safe deposit box at Silicon Valley Bank

Will this joke still be funny by the time someone opens this card? Probably not but I’m making it anyways.

A sign for Silicon Valley Bank. The sign is blue with the bank's lower-cased "svb" logo.

A sign for Silicon Valley Bank (SVB) headquarters is seen in Santa Clara, California, U.S. March 10, 2023. REUTERS/Nathan Frandino

9. Get it signed by the artist.

8. Get it signed by Mark Rosewater.

7. Get it signed by Elijah Wood.

6. Put it between your college textbooks to prevent the foiling from curling like a Pringle chip.

5. Bend test. You never know, right?

4. Put it in the middle of a binder page surrounded by Black Lotuses you had laying around because of course the person who opens this is likely going to be someone who already owns a dozen full Power Nine sets who else is going to be able to afford that many Collector’s Boosters in this economy?

3. Pass it in your FLGS’s collector booster fun draft because you really should have picked a removal spell in your first two packs and can’t just let You Shall Not Pass go at this point.

A hand showing a pack of Magic cards in a draft. The front card is a foil Tarmogoyf. This image is from a famous tournament where Maynard opened the incredibly valuable card in their first pack. They decided to keep the card and later sold it for charity.

2. Sell it to that one guy at your local shop who’s ALWAYS trying to make a deal but leaves you feeling like you got scammed every single time.

1. Drop it in a volcano

Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins in the film Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Frodo is holding The One Ring on a chain, contemplating whether or not he should actually throw it into Mount Doom.

Rich Stein (he/him) has been playing Magic since 1995 when he and his brother opened their first packs of Ice Age and thought Jester’s Cap was the coolest thing ever. Since then his greatest accomplishments in Magic have been the one time he beat Darwin Kastle at a Time Spiral sealed Grand Prix and the time Jon Finkel blocked him on Twitter.

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