It hasn’t been that hard for me to become familiar-ish with what’s out there in Legacy Land. I thought it would be. It’s an intimidating pool to dive into mostly blind. Swimming with your friends Liliana, Bob, Goyf, and BBE makes it a lot easier. They help procure wins without my (or your) misplays (and/or unseen plays) farking it up too badly. Wins build confidence and stabilize interest. BBE induces the kind of eye rolls I only dream about—BBE into Hymn, or Liliana, or a timely Abrupt Decay—the stuff my “fair deck” dreams are made of. There are multiple Sylvan Librarys (Green-Jace) to smooth out your draws. A Show and Tell deck can totally wipe the floor with your “fair” deck. Any Show and Tell player is going to hell anyway so every match with them is a moral victory, I guess.

While we’re on the topic of going to hell, Herbig got young Becky’s number (and an XOXO) during a recent team legacy practice at fat cat. Herbig plays Show and Tell sometimes. The number was wasted on this soon to be eternally tormented soul. He’s got a girlfriend. [Editor’s Note: The number was unsolicited, you know, so Herbig doesn’t get in trouble. Becky’s friend walked over, said Becky thought Herbig was handsome or something, walked away, leaving this hand written phone number and XOXO note.]

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Seriously though, what the F do us fair Jund players do against these combo decks?!

Fettoblaster, Forker, B-Mac and me all pulled into the Fettomobile for a quick sprint to the middle of Long Island for a Theros Limited PTQ. The ride was hilarious. Fetto tried to kill us with Monique-like lane changes and failed. We all made it to this huge store with tons of fantasy world based awesome for sale. They had tons of seating. It was ok.

I’ll fly through these rounds. I didn’t save my deck but it was something like green & black with some removal, some big dudes, some get-dudes-back-from-the-graveyard dudes, and various other things. The best card for me all day was:

He was my win condition. All three matches I won he played a role. All games I won in matches I lost he played a role. It was great. I had one Gray Merchant of Asphodel that didn’t so much of anything. Anyway, on to my opponents:

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The games with Ben were very close. He was mana boned game three, I think, and though Sean, B-Mac, and everyone else I knew at the event were standing around me watching me not cast Marauders to just outright win, I still managed to plow through after giving Ben at least one extra turn.

 

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Anna Marie asked me to not say that she tried to Spark Jolt my x/2. She also asked me not to mention that on one of my attacks she said “anything before damage” and then tried to block one of my creatures with a Mnemonic Wall. I won in three.

Game two I learned a Last Breath targeting Fabled Hero trick. Blew my mind. When you target Hero with Breath it gets its +1/+1 counters. Then Last Breath resolves and can’t kill Hero because it’s bigger now. Then Anna Marie gained the four life. [Editor’s note: the judge ruled that Anna Marie gained the life but it’s incorrect, naughty judge.] WOW. Cut to her SLAUGHTERING me on the next turn. Anna Marie rolls with people I ocassionally roll with so it’s great to have finally had some laughs with her and add her to my friend list IRL. Defeating her in three games was a nice bonus.

 

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Andrew lost to Marauders both games, I think. One game I had to use Marauders to kill his Elspeth, Sun’s Champion. I drew a lot of gas and he didn’t draw as well.

 

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This is Connor “Purple” Hayes. He’s my favorite judge (and head judge of this PTQ).

 

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Kevin beat me to death with my own shoes.

 

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Rogelio had the best deck I’ve ever seen at a PTQ in my life. Maybe it was the best sealed deck of all times. It was my deck plus multiple copies of all the cards I had that were good and Nylea and her Bow. I asked him to email me his decklist.

This is what he had to say about it:
Ended up losing my Win and In for the Top 8, this deck literally couldn’t lose when it drew below average or better.  Lost to mana screw twice after destroying my opponent game one.  Oh well, dems the breaks. Probably the best pool I will ever see and didn’t even get a Top 8 out of it.
Dems the breaks indeed. Our game two end of game boardstate was pretty gross. 

 

 

 

 

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With no one x-1 or better (what one needs to be to make the Top 8 of a PTQ, usually) we all piled into Fetto’s car and headed back to Twenty Sided for a draft. Anna Marie joined us.

 

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My deck was a confusing pile of shit that came together (if that’s what you want to call it) pack three when I took the red god pick one. The rest of the deck was all Fanatic of Mogis and the likes. 75% of my deck was picked up pack three. It was a nightmare. However, I was able to beat the snot out of Jesse here.

 

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Then Joe beat me.

 

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Then Brandon beat me with his insane bombs.

 

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This is an obligatory Gene Coffey shot with a Tobias “Handsomest Guy at Twenty Sided Store” Wong bonus.

 

At FNM this week I split in the finals with one of my nemeses, Mark. Bathurst and I went for burgers after and I opened my prize packs at Blue Collar Burger. When I got to this Dissolve I ripped it up because fuck that card. That’s one fewer counter spell in the world.

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Then it was Standard o’clock. I put together (meaning I spent a few hundred bucks) GR Monsters. It looks like this:

Green Red Monsters

Creatures (28)
Arbor Colossus
Burning-Tree Emissary
Elvish Mystic
Nylea, God of the Hunt
Polukranos, World Eater
Scavenging Ooze
Sylvan Caryatid
Voyaging Satyr

Spells (9)
Domri Rade
Garruk, Caller of Beasts
Xenagos, the Reveler
Lands (23)
Forest
Mountain
Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx
Stomping Ground
Temple of Abandon

Sidebaord (15)
Mistcutter Hydra
Mizzium Mortars
Nylea’s Disciple
Sylvan Primordial
Wasteland Viper

Everyone who’s seen me play this deck or heard that I’m playing this deck says “they made this deck for you.” I had so much fun until round four when I got severely mana screwed and lost a mostly silent game. If I’m playing and silent I’m either having to think a ton or having a pretty shitty time.

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Even with a few mistakes on my end the deck still pulled through, drawing a bajillion cards with Garruk, Caller of Beasts and casting the ever loving heck out of them with Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx and Voyaging Satyr. Billy’s UW deck wasn’t drawing well but he’s a sweet dude and I enjoyed his presence during our match.

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James and I laughed through our games. He was mana screwed game one (and GR monstered out perfectly). Game two Nylea got a trampling Polukranos, World Eater through for the final four points of damage. James had Pithing Needled Xenagos, the Reveler (not the scariest guy to Needle but maybe he was afraid of the ramp potential with his +1 ability).

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Richard and I had some real games but the bastard beat me and then tried to sell me tickets to the Nets opener against the Heat. He remains a slow playing but favorite opponent at the store.

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Vin sat down and said “ready to get some revenge on me from Legacy on Monday?” I mulled to four game one, never seeing a land in any of the hands I drew. Game two Vin had sided in and drew all of his removal spells. It wasn’t awesome. Revenge is a dish best not served, it seems.

Despite a 2-2 evening I would’ve played the same deck and I will play it again.

 

Saturday I got called up for a team sealed practice sesh at Forker’s place. I found out the cards were in Russian and Korean and I was pretty pissed. But whatevs. I was there to play. I drafted this beauty and managed to have the only match win on my team. We lost before round three started. I felt I was the weakest drafter of my team (Hugh is probably the best of the group). Here’s what I came up with (pack one pick one was one of my Prophet of Kruphixes):

UG Theros Draft Deck

Creatures (15)
Omenspeaker
Burnished Hart
Guardians of Meletis
Opaline Unicorn
Coastline Chimera
Horizon Chimera
Thassa’s Emissary
Mnemonic Wall
Nessian Asp
Prophet of Kruphix
Sealock Monster
Shipbreaker Kraken
Vulpine Goliath

Spells (8)
Annul
Aqueous Form
Nylea’s Presence
Bow of Nylea
Dissolve
Time to Feed
Griptide
Sea God’s Revenge
Lands (17)
Forest
10 Island

I lost round one to Chas’s god-hand and my mull to five. Game one I could’ve played tighter and game two I fucked up but survived thanks to Bow.

After the team draft we were down to five people and forced through an order of pizza and a mini-sealed tourney.

Here’s that deck:

UG Awesome Theros Sealed Deck

Creatures (15)
Omenspeaker
Nimbus Naiad
Prescient Chimera
Sedge Scorpion
Opaline Unicorn
Thassa’s Emissary
Nessian Asp
Voyaging Satyr
Agent of Horizons
Guardians of Meletis
Nessian Courser

Spells (7)
Griptide
Voyage’s End
Dissolve
Bident of Thassa
Ordeal of Nylea
Sea God’s Revenge
Lands (18)
Island
Forest
Temple of Mystery

Round one I faced and destroyed my best friend, The Kadar Brock.

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This is my hand game two. Omenspeaker, Prescient Chimera (x2), Thassa’s Emissary, Nimbus Naiad, Island (x2). I won. It was great!

Because our game took the longest and only a loser of round one remained, I got a bye for round two.

In the finals I faced Hugh “Put My Battlemaster on Top of My Deck” Kramer. I almost never beat Hugh in Limited and I obliterated him. Look how happy he is about it!

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In my Russian pack I also got a Stormbreath Dragon. Pretty sweet.

OK! I’m super tired of writing. If/when you go out this week for Halloween activities please respect yourself and those around you!

Lots of love,
Matt
MTGO: The_Obliterator

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