Hello Gentle Entities and Par Boiled Enemies!

As this is our twenty-first column, we at Mizz Mizzet’s School for Complicated Lifeforms would like to remind you that we answer between 1-3 letters from our interrogative entities across the multiverse each week.

This week we shall focus on a single question involving the etiquette of offering advice.

If you missed our initial column, you may peruse it at your leisure at this location.

Content Warnings

Mizz Mizzet’s Guide to Magical Manners is pleased to provide Content Warnings, given that solving bad behavior often means describing bad behavior.

Dear Mizz Mizzet;

If I were going to invite you for tea, how would I address the invitation?

Kindest Regards.

A Mizziteer

My dear Mizziteer,

How delightful! My family traditions in terms of names and titles are somewhat grandiose and as a result rather than layer on things such as Mizz Mizzet the Diamondintellect, Chatelaine of Utvara and I tend to only use those for evening events or vengeance monologues.

I instead have made it my personal habit to modify my form of address to the locality I am planeswalking in. Therefore as we are very relaxed at Hipsters of the Coast a simple text if we were close would be more than sufficient:

“Hey Mizz, are you up for Royal Tea at the Four Seasons this Sunday?” Which of course I would be. I do love their clotted cream and the chef’s choice of loose teas.

If it were a formal tea rather than choose amongst a millennia of titles one could simply follow the modern standard  of a full name without titles or honorific, Mizz is of course my primary name and Mizzet my family hatching ground name.

If you were looking for an honorific you might use “of Hipsters of the Coast”

As such.

To the attention of Mizz Mizzet of Hipsters of the Coast:

You are cordially invited to join A Mizziteer for tea on Sunday next, at 4pm.

So as you can see there is no special need to excavate seventeen thousand years of various titles and positions of intrigue – what matters most is where we are now!

And tea.

And scones.

I look forward to hearing from you soon


Dear Mizz Mizzet

I know you have written several columns on snacks and hosting but I haven’t seen anything about when someone brings food where food isn’t welcome. Like I am really grossed out and anxious when anyone has food by cards. Is there a polite way to tell people to keep their food out of the game? 

Focused Funambulist

Dear Focused,

There are numerous reasons that you may wish to limit food at a table of an event and in almost every circumstance you are well within proper etiquette to simply inform entities whom you are inviting into your game that food is not welcome at the gaming table.

If you are hosting there are two circumstances where a full ban is not good form – individuals may have personal health reasons for keeping food nearby and should not be required to “explain why” when they mention it might make attending your game table awkward.

The other is if you are hosting an event that will run over three hours – you should be prepared to accommodate a food plan even if the food is not welcome at the gaming table. I personally keep the option of food in a different room entirely from where game play happens.

If you are playing in a public space that allows food at the table you may make a polite request in the same manner a guest might have asked you to allow food if you were host.

“I know that the store allows food at the table during games, but it makes me incredibly anxious, would it be OK if we agreed not to eat during the match?” Hopefully your fellow players are polite enough to wait until you’ve moved on to test the interactions of their card sleeves with a chicken parm sandwich.

And finally there is what to do if someone brings out food after being specifically asked not to . You might be able to try the gentle reminder “I’m sorry –  I thought we had agreed not to have food at the table”

There is also the more aggressive assumption of authority – “This is a no-snacks table, please put that away to eat after the event” Faint Heart never won clear table!


Cleanup Crew

Thank you to Adrienne Reynolds, for her interplanar transcription services.
Mizz Mizzet Portrait by Andres Garcia

Delightful Readers, Please Submit Your Questions to Mizz Mizzet.

You may submit your questions to Mizz Mizzet using this form.

New Mizz Mizzet columns are posted every Wednesday right here as well as in Hipsters of the Coast‘s weekly email newsletter. You are also encouraged to follow her at @MizzMizzet on Twitter.

Any questions answered publicly will be made anonymous, and noms de plume will be created to represent any parties mentioned.

Born a perfect dragon in an imperfect multiverse, Mizz Mizzet (she/her) is the pioneer broodmother of today’s multiplanar civility movement.  She is now working to persuade Planeswalkers to participate in it.

Her tireless efforts to expand the understanding and exercise of etiquette beyond the stereotypical terror of too many pieces of silverware, and whether to use poisons or explosives at celebratory conquest dinners, have not escaped official notice.

She specializes as a consultant in seating arrangements for inter and intra planar political events as long as contracts include the option to eat the rude.

Out of respect for her relative’s delicate sensibilities regarding draconic rank, she does not reside on the plane of Ravnica.

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