Stabber Crew (Andy Longo, Chris Manning, and Dan OMS) beat WuTan Clan (Richard Tan, Brook Li, and Tony Ling) 5-1 in the semi finals of Team Draft League M15.

They’d play the winners of an epic battle between Magic super stars.

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Spice Thyme Continuum (Pena, Forker, and Bathurst)

vs.

The Brendaxian Mobliterators (Monique, B-Mac, and me).

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We played Friday at 7pm.

Here’s what we looked like when we sat down to draft.

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Pena, Jones, Forker.

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Monique, Bathurst, B-Mac.

The sun was shining as the draft started.

I pack one pick one’d a Cone of Flame. I drafted maybe six more red cards including Kurkesh, Onakke Ancient, Blastfire Bolt, and Belligerent Sliver. The rest of my deck was black. I had no bombs.

The whole thing looked like this, a mess.

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Here’s a readable version.

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Originally I had two Foundry Street Denizens over something and an Unmake the Graves. Mo and B-Mac talked me out of playing the Denizens ‘cuz they weren’t right for my deck.

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I decided to keep two Unmake the Graves and a Festergloom in the maindeck. If they didn’t work out I had a Mind Rot and some other shit. Unmake the Graves ended up being really good. I never drew it twice and often sided the second copy out.

Monique and B-Mac lose round one to Bathurst and Pena respectively. Forker beat me game one. I mini-tilted (became grumpy but did not throw things) ‘cuz I lost and ‘cuz Forker announces every step and every priority pass and that shit drives me bonkers. I’m not about to say “No, no, no, you didn’t have priority,” and fuck him over when I knew what he meant. I knew he wasn’t doing it to be a dick but it was frustrating. TDL is supposed to be semi-casual. I know that it’s up to me how I respond but I’m not always the best responder. “You basically said FUCK YOU to me all of game one,” said Forker. It’s true. Priority and triggers are part of the game and bros get to announce them (it’s actually better when they do). It shouldn’t affect me. At some point I Cone of Flamed his dudes and he makes an “Aw man” sound before countering it with that four mana counter spell. “Why’d you make that noise if you had the counter?” I asked him. “Well I gotta sell it, don’t I?” he reponded. “Do you? Why not just win without making the noise?” I asked. Forker shrugged. I was clearly cranky and not a guy to continue that line of conversation with. He’s a smart fella.

Games two and three he stalled on mana and I smashed. It was good that he stalled on mana because my deck didn’t really have any business beating his. Forker had more than one flyer. I couldn’t deal with that shit.

Round two Monique lost to Pena quickly. Scuttling Doom Engine was too much for her.

James and I played a decent game one and I won it. Game two I mulled to five and he curved out brilliantly. Game three he mulled a bunch. I unleashed my horde of shitty creatures. Eventually it got so bad for James that he had to Aetherspouts my Belligerent Sliver to stay alive. He died by that sliver the following turn.

B-Mac and Forker’s round two was intense and long. This let me get around 20 minutes of painting in as we waited. Monique sat by B-Mac, adding her two cents when required. Their game came down to Forker getting back a Frost Lynx (Pena and Forker’s decision) instead of a Rotfeaster Maggot (James’s suggestion) off a Gravedigger. Forker played Lynx, B-Mac cast Raise the Alarm and swung for the win on his turn. Rotfeaster Maggot would’ve sealed Forker’s victory game one. Game two Forker mulled and stalled on land. B-Mac made quick work of him.

Round three we’re all a little stressed out. Pena is 2-0 and I don’t really see how I could defeat his deck. Monique lost quickly to Forker. I’m not sure what went wrong with her deck. It was a sweet red green deck with Kird Chieftain and other good stuff.

Pena and I got into a board state where I could swing for four with Golem ‘cuz he was swinging with Scuttles, leaving his board open. Taking six was worse than doing four. Eventually I got a Caustic Tar online and Pena swung in with Skuttles and some 2/2 after Hunt the Weaking my Rotfeaster Maggot. I had Unmake the Graves in hand. I chump with the 3/1 mill guy, cast Unmake, get back Maggot and Torch Fiend. End of turn I Tar’d him. On my turn I cast Maggot, exiled his Siege Wurm, went up to seven life, cast Fiend, sac’d it, killing his Skuttles. This put me to one (after the Skuttles die trigger). After that he drew nothing, lost, and cursed himself for handing me the win.

Game two he mulled a bunch. I kept a mono red hand with mono red lands and curved out with Generator Servant, Belligerent Sliver, sac’d Servant to attack with hasty Junkyard Dog, and it just got worse from there. Pena still kicked himself for punting game one.

Then, out of nowhere, B-Mac won his final match and we are on our way to the finals vs. The Ringers, ehem, I mean Stabber Crew.

“Holy shit, I did not think I would 3-0 with that deck,” I told my team.

“I thought there was no way you could beat Jonathan,” admitted B-Mac. “His deck was so good.”

Most of my wins were due to my opponent’s mulligans and/or mana screw. It happens to me enough that the laws of probability (are those real?) see to my opponents being mana fucked now and then, too.

Before the match Monique said she had a gift from former Brooklyn Magic player and good friend Mike Scovazzo and handed me this:

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A foil German Scavenging Ooze! Sorry, the picture is out of focus. My camera has a hard time with foil cards. What a good omen this gift was!

Thanks for reading!

Matt

Matt Jones (born 1980, Rochester, New York) is an artist living and working in Brooklyn, NY. Matt works between a variety of inter-related genres that explore mythology, archaeology, ancient history, theoretical physics, comedy, and the paranormal—all developed and inspired by research and personal experience. Together his bodies of work form a way for Matt to evaluate, negotiate, and play with the world around him. You can check out his art at www.mattjonesrules.com.  Matt’s played Magic since early 1995, took a break for a decade or so, and came back to the game the weekend after the Scars of Mirrodin release. With Hugh Kramer he formed New York’s Team Draft League and is one of the original writers for Hipsters of the Coast. Matt’s been sober for seven years.

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