Hello Gentle Entities and En Croute Critics!

Today is the celebration of many important things such as World Indigenous Day and National Book Lovers Day. These are both communities that contribute directly to the many and varied experiences we have in our various gaming pursuits and so we enthusiastically honor both important contributors who create and inform the artform we love and share.

To that end allow me to  share the excellent entrepreneurs envisioning Indigenous futures in both design and content: https://ictnews.org/news/envisioning-indigenous-futures.

And of course who among us does not love books? They can be a horde unto themselves! Or, when stacked up and properly animated they can be a friend and fellow player…

But today is ALSO National Rice Pudding Day! I do so love interplanar cuisine! Many cultures here on the plane housing Hipsters of the Coast have their own versions of the recipe and there is some form of this pudding on every plane where rice (or rice like plant growth) is cultivated. This recipe happens to be a favorite local variant of mine and is sometimes served at draconic formal events between the meat and vengeance courses as a palate cleanser. I am particularly partial the subtle flavors of vanilla infused in multiple textures and the rum adds a wee bit of piratical essence:

Bon Appetit Rice Pudding

https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/bas-best-rice-pudding

Of course every culture will have its own traditional meal time for serving this delightful dish.

As this is our twenty-ninth column, we at Mizz Mizzet’s School for Complicated Lifeforms would like to remind you that we answer between 1-3 letters from our interrogative entities across the multiverse each week.

If you missed our initial column, you may peruse it at your leisure at this location.


Content Warnings

Mizz Mizzet’s Guide to Magical Manners is pleased to provide Content Warnings, given that solving bad behavior often means describing bad behavior.


Hello,

I am moving today into a new apartment that is already occupied by my new roommate, a fellow who I’ve met once in person before. When visiting the apartment, I saw they were painting Warhammer miniatures. When I asked, they said they were trying out a new hobby.

My city has a pretty strong Magic community, so I’ve been wondering if I should offer to introduce and even teach Magic to my new roommate. I don’t want to intrude or insinuate that he shouldn’t play Magic, but he seems like he could be interested in it. There’s always a chance that he already knows about the game, too.

How could I best bring up the game to him? Any pitfalls to avoid?

Thanks!

Recently Roommated


My Dear Roommate,

First allow me to offer my sincere congratulations on your new domicile. In this delicate time of various precarious economies, how lovely it is to know that you have found both a comfortable lair, AND someone with whom you can share compatible interests! You may reasonably assume that two things about your roommate most assuredly overlap with your own social activities.

The first is that your roommate knows enough about wargaming to have acquired the materials for painting small warriors. The second, is that he invests in hobbies and is unashamed of them. If your domiciled partner is not self conscious about his own hobbies, it is therefore fully appropriate for you to be enthusiastic about yours.

Your caution about how to approach him without making assumptions or implying that he might not already know about the game is a fantastic instinct on your part. If you are aware that an invitation might be interpreted as condescending it is best to plan ahead to avoid such unintentional slights. Many people in various activities and fandoms have had previous experience with adjacent or connected activities and materials leading to them either engaging or avoiding such things before you meet them.

Being an ambassador for a hobby is the same as any other form of diplomacy, you are rarely the first contact, but you can often be the person who can put your government in the best light and repair misconceptions.

Some have had negative experiences with being taught or community activity that made them uncomfortable, so when approaching a new acquaintance there are perfectly polite ways to invite them to join you and offer to provide materials and instruction and support to them joining you in your own hobby.

The general formula for discussing anything with someone where you don’t know if they know more or less than you do is as follows:

  • Mention a positive thing about something you already know about them that made you think they would be open to an invitation in the first place
  • Ask about that thing while mentioning your connection to it AND the additional topic
  • Listen to the information the person has provided you when they answer
  • Adjust your “ask” or invitations with the information they have provided
  • Reference the shared overlap of the positive thing and what you wish to invite them to do or learn or join in the wording of your invite

This system will work for almost any personal or professional setting interaction where one might be concerned about creating faux pax through unconscious bias or unfamiliar settings. It works for almost all interpersonal conversations because it allows you to find out more about your invitee while also letting you focus on *why*  you wanted to invite that individual in the first place.

In this specific instance, your polite inquiry is built into the existing hobby your roommate is already experimenting with. The Warhammer properties already exist in Magic the Gathering.

Allow me to present a possible conversational scenario that centers around your roommates new hobby that mentions yours. This approach allows you to assume he has some prior knowledge of Magic but can gently discover if he does not. It would play out something like this:

“The Warhammer minis are looking really good! Are you trying out the painting as your new hobby or do you play the tabletop game too?”

The answer to this question will guide you to your next response. If he is simply painting Warhammer minis because they are artistically satisfying but does not currently play the game you can follow up with:

“Warhammer does have really interesting art. I play Magic and we just had a big crossover event last year with a kind of “shared universe” set of decks. The art was amazing. Do you play Magic?

Your roommate will then answer in the positive or the negative. If they do you can move the conversation to talking about which ways they play Magic and how you do and then you could simply ask if they’d be interested in playing some games with you.

If they do not play Magic you can say “It’s one of my favorite games and there’s a really active community around here – lots of folk also play mini games and paint too. Would you be interested in playing with me? I’d be happy to teach you?”

If they DO play Warhammer and are branching out into miniature painting, but do not play or have experience with Magic, the art is still the entry point. Especially if you do not play Warhammer and he does.

“I’ve been wondering how well the Universes Beyond cards reflect the Warhammer game experience? Have you seen the cards? I’d be interested in hearing your opinion on the art part and if you’re interested I can tell you how the cards work so we can compare them to Warhammer gameplay”

That should lead to a reciprocal conversation about game design/play/art where you will be able to see if he is interested in learning to play.

This gives you most of the circumstances to invite your fellow home dweller to socialize with you in future endeavors. You might also agree to learn how to paint with him. The most important part of an invitation such as this is to center it around the interests and responses of the person whom you are inviting to play with you. You cannot truly go wrong if you offer with a whole heart and listen carefully to what they know and like when they answer your inquiries.

I am positive the two of you shall find things to share as fellow gamers and consumers of fine hobby products together. It is clear he has acquired a most considerate roommate.

May you have the shared joy of compatible living and an excellent local pizza delivery establishment.

Bonne Chance,

MM


Thank you to Adrienne Reynolds, for her interplanar transcription services.
Mizz Mizzet Portrait by Andres Garcia

Delightful Readers, Please Submit Your Questions to Mizz Mizzet.

You may submit your questions to Mizz Mizzet using this form.

New Mizz Mizzet columns are posted every Wednesday right here as well as in Hipsters of the Coast‘s weekly email newsletter. You are also encouraged to follow her at @MizzMizzet on Twitter.

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Born a perfect dragon in an imperfect multiverse, Mizz Mizzet (she/her) is the pioneer broodmother of today’s multiplanar civility movement.  She is now working to persuade Planeswalkers to participate in it.

Her tireless efforts to expand the understanding and exercise of etiquette beyond the stereotypical terror of too many pieces of silverware, and whether to use poisons or explosives at celebratory conquest dinners, have not escaped official notice.

She specializes as a consultant in seating arrangements for inter and intra planar political events as long as contracts include the option to eat the rude.

Out of respect for her relative’s delicate sensibilities regarding draconic rank, she does not reside on the plane of Ravnica.

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