Jerry is taking the week off. Why don’t we revisit one of his signature spicy meatballs? Sink, meet hole.

Do you ever just have one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days? It’s ok, it happens to the best of us. Between internet trolls, the current state of political affairs, and the million little things that can ruin a day, it’s enough to make you want to tear out your hair and scream.

Now the healthy thing to do would be to take a deep breath, listen to some music, maybe take a walk and cool off. Or, if you are like me, you can drag your opponents down to your level and relish in the sweet sweet schadenfreude. After all, misery loves company.

Misery Dot Deck

Creatures (9)
Snapcaster Mage
Phyrexian Dreadnought
Fulminator Mage

Spells (31)
Toxic Deluge
Force of Will
Spell Pierce
Crucible of Worlds
Rain of Tears
Lands (21)
Dust Bowl
Underground Sea
Polluted Delta
Flooded Strand
Creeping Tarpit

Land destruction is probably the most reviled mechanic that harkens all the way back to the earliest days of magic. Sinkhole has been with us since the very beginning, making its first appearance in Alpha. It is still arguably the best land destruction spell ever printed. That is because Wizards soon learned that players absolutely HATE being on the receiving end of land destruction. There are few things more frustrating than holding a grip of cards that you cannot cast because your opponent keeps blowing up your lands. Due to this Wizards has really pulled back in this area. Most land destruction spells that sneak their way into standard are absolutely unplayable. I’m looking at you Peak Eruption and Destroy the Evidence!


The Land Destruction

Luckily for us some pretty sweet land destruction snuck its way through R&D before they decided to shut the gate. As we already said, Sinkhole is hands down the best ubiquitous land destruction. It’s as simple as point and shoot. As we have plenty of ways to kill non-basic lands you want to try and save these for the opponents who manage to run out a few basics.

Stifle comes in a close second place on the land destruction hierarchy. While it can only “kill” fetchlands, the fact that you can destroy a land for the simple cost of one blue mana makes it the most efficient way to cut your opponent’s mana base. Since we are already running Stifle we might as well also run Stifle‘s BFF Phyrexian Dreadnought. I mean we do have to win the game eventually right? Unless you want to be extra mean and just destroy all your opponents lands and bore them to death. On second thought maybe I should cut the Phyrexian Dreadnoughts.

Wasteland is a must have in this deck. It is ubiquitous in the Legacy metagame, even non land destruction decks run this pillar of the format due to its sheer power and versatility. The fact that it only can target nonbasic lands is hardly ever a downside, as the number of basic lands in Legacy decks averages around two to four. Even mono color decks like Death and Taxes or Merfolk run 8+ nonbasic lands for their utility.


Fulminator Mage is a modern all star that never really cracked into the legacy scene. He is a bit expensive at three converted mana cost, but the ability to blow up a nonbasic land tied to a 2/2 body certainly makes up for his relatively expensive cost. Most decks in do not need this effect as Wasteland is almost always the better choice. However, we are more than willing to pay the cost for the ability to run seven Wasteland effects.  

Dust Bowl and Crucible of Worlds is a backbreaking combo. The ability to destroy any land at whim, while continually making your own land drops, will grind any opponent out of the game. The fact that Crucible also combos with Wasteland is some sweet synergy as well.

Vindicates forgotten ability is that it is also a Stone Rain. “Destroy target permanent” means ANY permanent, so your opponents lands are fair game. The deck is light on removal though, so you want to try and save the Vindicates for any permanents your opponent manages to cast with their anemic mana base.



Now some of you may be wondering why a blue black control deck has zero copies of any form of discard. The answer is simple: you don’t need it. A more complex answer would involve a lengthy discussion on the theory of card advantage worthy of its own article, but I will try and give you the idea in a nutshell. If your opponent has no lands in play, then they cannot pay for any of their spells. If they cannot pay for their spells, then they cannot cast any of them. If they cannot cast any of their spells, then they are just as dead as if they were already in their graveyard. By running discard you are being unnecessarily redundant. Why bother to strip their hand if it is useless to them anyways?  


Instead we fill our deck with countermagic. Sometimes your opponent is able to scrape by on one land. In these situations countermagic is waiting in the wings ready to shoot down those cheap spells before they can ever resolve. Because we are already taxing our opponents mana, “soft” countermagic like Daze and Spell Pierce hold their value for much longer in the game. When all else fails Toxic Deluge is the last line of defense, ready to sweep away all the little small cheap creatures that are able to sneak in under your wall of countermagic.


The Spicy 61st

The honorable 61st spot is a bit silly this week. In all honesty it’s a pretty bad card, after all it’s just a Sinkhole that costs one extra mana. However the flavor is too good to ignore, it is a land destruction spell that SALTS the land with your opponents TEARS. Come on, I would be doing all of us a disservice by not including Rain of Tears in this list. Until next week, keep those tears flowing!

Jerry Mee is a Boston Native who has been playing Magic since Onslaught Block. Primarily a Legacy player, he cohosts the weekly Leaving a Legacy Podcast found on He can be reached on Twitter at @Jmee3rd

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