There is a lot of design work that goes into every magic card. Most people tend to focus on the art but there is another element to Magic cards that I feel is too often overlooked: flavor text. Flavor text varies so widely, which is why I find it so interesting. It ranges from serious, albeit cheesy, additions to the story line to bad puns to Shakespeare quotes. There are the classics such as Tarmogoyf, Dark Confidant and Primeval Titan but often I feel like flavor text is ignored which is why I thought I’d spend this week reviewing a few of my favorite cards and flavor text in magic.
I do have a lot of appreciation for the sassy and humorous flavor text that is mostly found on older cards. It always reminds me not to take things too seriously while giving me a laugh. One of the best examples of that is Gorilla Titan from Odyssey, as seen below.
Shortly after Odyssey came out there was some internet rumblings regarding flavor text that MaRo wrote an article about. Will Mistretta had written asking that Gorilla Titan style flavor text be gone away with, that the modern flavor text was just not nearly as good because it wasn’t serious enough. In MaRo’s response he defends the jokes and references a study Wizards did using Oddessey showing that many favorite cards involved humorous flavor text. However, flavor text has become more serious with time and is strictly tied to the story line now. I read the flavor text for every single card in Battle for Zendikar and only found one card that was meant to be humorous, and it still was tied to the story line. After a quick scroll through Origins and Dragons of Takir I found a similar pattern.
Personally I miss the Shakespeare quotes and bad puns. When I asked my fellow hipsters for their favorite cards I got a mix of answers: Millstone, Colossus of Sardia, Chub Toad, Deflection, Null Rod, Fissure, Wrath of God and a few others were brought up. You’ll notice while all of these vary greatly from jokes to Philosophy to just straight up bad ass none of them are really story driven. It seemed to be the consensus that the best flavor text was true to the card more than the story. Something that anyone could appreciate from just looking at the card with little to no context.
It feels necessary to share my favorite flavor texts if I’m going to write about the subject so below you’ll find my top ten but considering how many magic cards are out there I’m sure I’ve missed some good ones. If you don’t see your favorite below tweet me @BeautCoulisses so I can learn your favorites.
- Wrath of God
I was a theater major what can I say? When my boyfriend and I started playing together he pulled this out to show me knowing how much I love both theatre and Magic. It was a cute moment and it was the first time I really started paying attention to flavor text at all.
- Braids, Cabal Minion
Sass is my lifeblood plus Braids’ face looks beyond creepy here which really helps make the card. I love the text manages to be funny yet disturbing at the same time.
- Werebear
I will not apologizing for loving puns.
- Brink of Disaster
Liliana is a personal favorite and this card epitomizes her badassness.
- Goblin Offensive
The relationship between the card art and the flavor text is what really does it for me here. It looks like the Goblins are laughing at the joke and I love that.
- Battle of Wits
I love this card for a different reason than I love the others. This card, in my opinion, embodies the Magic community fairly well and because of that it always gives me a good giggle.
- Sizzle
This is another card that I love for pure sass reasons. It feels like something 16 year old me would have said had I actually been cool.
- Vhati ilDal
More sass (sensing a theme yet?), it only leaves me wondering if Vhati needs some ice for that burn.
- Dark Confidant
This is a classic, how could I not love this flavor? It’s so on point for the card but is also a great reminder to stay dedicated to the game.
- Primeval Titan
I play this card quite a bit and the flavor text for this card is on point. Prime Time is one of my favorite creatures and is without a doubt a game winner making his flavor text perfect.