The gang and I hopped into a 15 passenger van and drove to Somerset, New Jersey last Sunday. As the tournament was in Somerville, New Jersey, we left Somerset and arrived at The Only Game In Town with half an hour to spare. Rolex and B-Mac almost struck Thraglusk with their ride as they pulled up to park behind our van. When they honked to alert Abe to their presence he shit his pants, probably literally.

A former orthadontist’s office was the site of the event. We were crushed into eight or so rooms. Hugh found my favorite number.


Hugh found my favorite number.


Pre PTQ Magic was played.


After an incredible one land mull to six game one victory in which Curtis played Sea God’s Revenge for free off of Oracle of Bones’ tribute ability, my deck was outclassed and I lost 1-2.


Mike Kiora’d me game one and won. I didn’t see another Kiora in the rest of our games and took the match. I’m pretty sure he sided into a new UG deck game two (he was playing at least four colors game one).


Matt hates it when I take his picture. He kept his life totals on a brown paper bag. He beat me in two games, quickly. His UG deck was better than my UG deck but, seriously, both of our decks were piles of suboptimal cardboard and Matt was x-2 the round after he knocked me out. I got my revenge later in the day with the greatest Team Draft deck of all time.


The best cards in my deck are visible here. The game I played Courser I won, the most magical Magic game of my life. It was incredible, lucky, and skill intensive. Most of the rest of my games were super lopsided one way (usually in my opponent’s favor) or the other.

“There aren’t many things that are universally cool, and it’s cool not to litter. I’d never do it.”—Matthew McConaughey


Martino’s Cuban restaurant in Somerville is amazing. This is the best Cuban sandwich I’ve ever had.


Kadar ate himself sick and never won a match.


Bad art is the best.


Empty rooms are beautiful. I want to hang 12×9″ paintings on each of these walls.


Here, too


B-Mac plays Magic furiously.


Hunter and Abe had to play one another in the x-1 bracket! Oh no!


The top tables featured future top 8’ers Hugh and Richard!


After seeing how hard Abe was thinking, Hunter did the right thing and let Abe beat  him in game three.


And backlightningly regretted it moments later.


Bones had his opponent down to one life when the guy ripped an Elspeth and never looked back. Dave lost the match.


Abe spent some time at the top tables before being knocked outta top 8 contention.


Hugh won zero game ones all day.


Matt still doesn’t want his photo taken, not even in team draft.


And not even for the team photo. Bastard!

The deck I drafted was RB Minotaurs. It was awesome. I had something like eight rares. Four of the rares were minotaur based. I don’t remember being this excited about a draft deck ever (and I get excited about draft decks). I beat Matt six games in a row. Then I crushed Sean. Then I crushed Jon. My teammates, you remember them, the Scryducks, only won a single match. 3-0 Jones. 1-5 rest of the ‘ducks. What the fuck, guys?! Get it together. We aren’t playing like chumps during Team Draft League Season Two. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!

Here are all of my winning board states:




With a quick hello to the Clockwork Bea(s)ts. Nice cameo, bros! Chill out on that muffin, Jon!


Ferrando kept pushing my cards around b/c he couldn’t deal with my smashing him so badly.








Here’s the whole deck. It looks sweet, eh?


Forker, even when totally exhausted, is handsome as all get out.


He isn’t afraid to ask a 17 year old for advice about Magical cards.


At dinner my hair was weird.


This was Abe’s first dinner out without his parents present in his whole life. What a big boy!


Our dinner was also at Martino’s Cuban restaurant. I ate this pile of insanely delicious food.


We all got fatter. It was awesome.


Hugh lost to this guy in the quarterfinals. Richard lost to the same guy in the semi finals. Then we got the fuck out of there b/c Matty Obliteraty Jonesy was super fucking tired.

I can’t stress how awesome traveling with your best Magical buds is. A couple hours in a van shooting the shit then playing Magical cards is about the sweetest thing ever.

Love to all,
Matt Jones
MTGO: The_Obliterator
Twitter: Die_Obliterator

Matt Jones is a sometimes PWP grinder, all the time spell slinger, and one passionate dude. He started playing at the end of Revised and quit at Exodus. Upon sobriety and running out of self-help groups to join, Jones picked Magic back up at New Phyrexia, found his favorite non-Necropotence card, Phyrexian Obliterator, and earned himself a nickname. He loves Constructed and tolerates Limited.


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