Two weeks ago: Kadar, “I signed us up for two-headed giant.” Me, “Cool, thanks, man.”

It didn’t really register that he meant Born of the Gods prerelease weekend was why we were playing two-headed giant.

Something happened a few PreRe’s ago, something changed. I used to get very excited to play with the new cards. I’d sign up for one flight and wait in line to sign up for a second flight later in the day or maybe on Sunday. I’ve never attempted to PreRe at any other store. Thing is, I like to use my time as efficiently as possible and I want to play the type of Magic I want to play. I do not like the special booster packs. A million booster packs is too many for two-headed giant. The trouble we had in deck building was that there were TOO many good cards in every color. Our pool, by no means bonkers, had too many pretty good cards that seemed like auto includes and we didn’t really get to play with some cards that we were excited to try out. The decks we built were fine. Kadar wanted to splash all sorts of colors but we didn’t splash anything. It seemed like UB was one deck and RG was another deck. If I had it to do over again I think that’s what I’d fight for. But, as it was, our decks were both very good and probably only a creature swarm could stop us (see: Round 3).

The guy building his deck across from us had a pug playmat.


Matt's Deck

Creatures (17)
Servant of Tymaret
Disciple of Phenax
Voyaging Satyr
Courser of Kruphix
Pheres-Band Tromper
Noble Quarry
Baleful Eidolon
Burnished Hart
Gray Merchant of Asphodel
Mogis’s Marauder
Keepsake Gorgon
Champion of Stray Souls
Satyr Wayfinder
Reaper of the Wilds
Nessian Asp
Fate Unraveler
Eater of Hope

Spells (6)
Fated Return
Time to Feed
Bile Blight
Fade into Antiquity
Lands (17)
10 Swamp

Kadar's Deck

Creatures (15)
Favored Hoplite
Nyxborn Shieldmate
Akroan Skyguard
Leonin Snarecaster
Elite Skirmisher
Ghostblade Eidolon
Wavecrash Triton
Chorus of the Tides
Heliod’s Emissary
Prescient Chimera
Arbiter of the Ideal

Spells (8)
Retraction Helix
Triton Tactics
Acolyte’s Reward
Ordeal of Heliod
Voyage’s End
Bident of Thassa
Sea God’s Revenge
Lands (17)

Kadar just texted me saying that I needed to mention we didn’t play these cards: Phenax, Ashen Rider, Dimir Inspire Flyer, and Archetype of Flying Guy. I didn’t realize Pharagax Giant’s non-tribute payment was five damage to each opponent. We had a few of that guy. RG RG RG would’ve been nice.

Kadar and I are pretty different deck builders and our play styles don’t always overlap. I go fast-ish most of the time. Kadar always wants to splash things and he takes FOREVER to deck build. God bless his heart. It’s always fun building with him due to our similarities and the inspiration that results from our differences. We should’ve been UB and GR, I’m almost positive. Oh well, next time?

Round One vs. Nolan and Damon


They had matching shirts! JUST LIKE US!!! Ours were screen printed “away” jerseys for our Team Draft League team “ScryDucks” by Nick Forker. They’re awesome and look like this:

Remember a few weeks ago when I harassed Hugh about getting an actual league going? Well, we did. Kadar came up with ScryDucks. It’s hilarious. Look at his hat of wizard! Nick did a great job on the shirt. Our first match is tonight (if you’re reading this on Monday, 3 Februrary) against Hunter, Carrie, and Dave’s “The Clockwork Beasts”. I’m recording the whole thing, so tune in next Monday for a healthy dose of funny-awkward.

Anyway, one of the two plaid fellas was mana screwed the whole game so we won the match. We did some neat things, played some cool spells, blah blah. I just remember the blonde guy being stuck on mana forever and that’s the shittiest thing in Zweiköpfigen Riesen. I mean, it’s not like we even really played Magic. I get that variance and mana screw are part of Magic, but whatever. It wasn’t much of anything. Joking with these two dudes was nice though. Playing quality human beings with PMAs (positive mental attitudes) is my preferred mode of MTG play. The win felt more like we correctly guessed a coin flip than actually defeated another two-headed giant.

They had matching Vitamin Waters, too.

Kadar asked them if they were interested in playing again, they were, so we did. They beat us.


At some point my board looked like this. I don’t remember why I took the photo, probably to show off the dumb promo rare that came with my black box of cards. It wasn’t a very good card.

Round Two vs. Nicole and Nick


Nicole was stuck on only black mana. She was blue/black. We won, by a lot. Two matches, two mana screws, two victories. We played a second game and Nicole was mana screwed then, too. She was on an island and a swamp for two or three hours. It wasn’t good. So, another game against another lovely giant with two heads that was mana screwed. Another win that felt like ending up on the right side of a coin toss. Not much to celebrate beyond time shared with quality people (which is something to celebrate).


I liked this board state. Courser was gaining me shit tons of life. I love her.

Round Three vs. Kevin and Mike


Kevin and Mike. Kevin and Mike. Their decks were good. We weren’t mana screwed and they beat the hell out of us. We didn’t stand a chance. Thankfully we’d agreed to split prior to our embarrassing defeat.

Mike reminded me of a particularly tilty time in my life when he smashed me with Colossal Whale and I kinda lost it. It’d been a long frustrating day capped by a shitty Two-Headed Giant tourney. M14. Grumble. This one was much better, we each earned four packs for our trouble and a ton of mostly useless cards. Funny that the one match our opponents weren’t mana screwed we got our assess handed to us. They just kept dropping creature after creature while we did nothing.

Midway into the tournament I signed up for the following day’s 4pm PreRe event. Within an hour I had crossed my name off the list. It takes so long. I really don’t like the special PreRe packs they make for the events. Super boring. I’d rather play with six packs and make a deck in a legit manner. PreRe’s aren’t designed with my archetype in mind, so I think I’ll just fully pass on them in the future and stick to regular set release weekends.

On Sunday I played two further drafts and 1-2’d both of them. WTF?! All of my bad luck, picks, and play are now out of my system. Only ass kicking from here on out.

Next week I’ll have video footage of the ScryDucks first match of Team Draft League (TDL). Wish us luck tonight!

Love to all,
Matt Jones
MTGO: The_Obliterator
Twitter: Die_Obliterator

Matt Jones is a sometimes PWP grinder, all the time spell slinger, and one passionate dude. He started playing at the end of Revised and quit at Exodus. Upon sobriety and running out of self-help groups to join, Jones picked Magic back up at New Phyrexia, found his favorite non-Necropotence card, Phyrexian Obliterator, and earned himself a nickname. He loves Constructed and tolerates Limited.

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