No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Gene Coffey often complains about me not putting images of him in my articles. Here’s Gene with a jpeg on his phone of his first “real bed” as an adult. He’s married, so no more sleeping on a mattress on the floor, I guess. Way to go Gene!

photo 4

Most of my week was spent trying to convince spectacular artist Mark Gibson to title his upcoming exhibition “Davy Crocket: Werewolf”. It’s at Fredricks & Frasier on 24th Street sometimes in November (the 14th?). So far he’s resisting.

Anyway, no surprise, first night of Theros Standard I had a rough FNM. I tried a seemingly good GW list with Advents, Voices, and Rootborn Defenses (amongst other things). It looked like this:

Green/White Aggro-ish

Creatures (20)
Fleecemane Lion
Experiment One
Dryad Militant
Boon Satyr
Voice of Resurgence
Trostani, Selesnya’s Voice

Spells (17)
Unflinching Courage
Advent of the Wurm
Selesnya Charm
Rootborn Defenses
Call of the Conclave

Land (23)
Temple Garden
Selesnya Guildgate
10 Forest
Sideboard (15)
Hunt the Hunter
Glare of Heresy
Unflinching Courage
Druid’s Deliverance
Trostani, Selesnya’s Voice
Sundering Growth
Centaur Healer
Rootborn Defenses
Ajani, Caller of the Pride
Pithing Needle

I went two and two. I beat Junk Mid-Range and lost to WBR Mid-range and UW Control (never getting past three lands with of my two games vs. UW). The Junk/WBR games were pretty exciting, Trostani coming up super huge in both of them. I had a really hard time with Blood Baron of Vizkopa in both matches. Reckoner was a total bastard in the WBR match. That guy just SHUT ME DOWN.

A friend of mine said he rolls GW Aggro with the very popular mono blue devotion deck, too. So, no thanks, I won’t be playing this thing again. Maybe mono red devotion. Bah. Who knows? I really want to play the GR Monstrous deck but that seems week to freaking mono blue, too.


Creatures (28)
Elvish Mystic
Burning-Tree Emissary
Scavenging Ooze
Sylvan Caryatid
Voyaging Satyr
Nylea, God of the Hunt
Polukranos, World Eater
Arbor Colossus

Spells (9)
Domri Rade
Xenagos, the Reveler
Garruk, Caller of Beasts
Lands (23)
Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx
Temple of Abandon
Stomping Ground

Sideboard (15)
Mistcutter Hydra
Wasteland Viper
Destructive Revelry
Mizzium Mortars
Burning Earth
Chandra, Pyromaster
Nylea’s Disciple
Xenagos, the Reveler
Sylvan Primordial

This deck apparently rolls over to the same Master of Waves mono blue deck. #sigh.


In the 1-2 bracket I faced this fine fella, Mike. Mike was super smiley and I couldn’t really figure out what the hell he was playing. I kept fwomping dudes down, sometimes populating them, whatevs. He cast Unexpected Results into a Stormbreath Dragon.

“I wasn’t going to write about Standard this week but this is awesome, can I take your photo and put it in the article I write?”


“Grab Unexpected Results and Stormbreath Dragon and hold’em up by your face.”

photo 3


Goddamn this deck really made him happy. After our match was over (pretty quickly ‘cuz he couldn’t keep up with my monsters) he told me about how he won by Unexpected Resultsing a Worldspine Wurm. He won in similar fashion with Blast of Genius, too. His Blast of Geniuses are foil. Well, one of them is for sure. The amount of pure giggly joy Mike got out of this wacky definitely not tier one deck was contagious. We talked a bit about how EDH/Commander seems like a format he’d love. I really want to give you a decklist but I received this in email

Hey Matt,

It’s Michael from last night who ran the Blast of Genius/Unexpected Results deck last night.

Here’s the deck list:

It’s not my original creation, but I’ve been in contact with the creator and we’ve been tweaking it together through tappedout. I play tested the deck dozens of times on Cockatrice before getting the cards to create it. It’s the most fun deck I’ve ever played even when I lose. On that note, it can win, but last night I wasn’t playing 100% of the cards, especially the sideboard which ended up fucking me over. I know this won’t be a top tier deck, but if you or your readers have any suggestions for it given the current meta (Esper, GW Zoo, Esper, RDW, Esper, GWR, Esper) it’d be appreciated. If you have any other questions just let me know, and I’ll be sure to check the blog frequently.


I bolded that one line, Mike didn’t. That is what I take away from his email. Most fun deck ever, even when I lose. I’ve never said that about a deck. It’s awesome that he did.

Unfortunately, at the time of me writing this article,’s site is undergoing maintenance and I couldn’t get the list. HOWEVER, as soon as goes back online I will cut/paste the deck right here:

Here’s Mike’s decklist:

Sure, I'll Put My Genius on Hold for Awhile

Creatures (20)
Worldspine Wurm
Gruul Ragebeast
Stormbreath Dragon
Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius
Sylvan Caryatid
Master Biomancer
Mercurial Chemister

Spells (16)
Mizzium Mortars
Blast of Genius
Unexpected Results
Primeval Bounty
Ral Zarek
Rapid Hybridization
Chromatic Lantern
Lands (24)
Temple of Abandon
Temple of Mystery
Breeding Pool
Steam Vents
Stomping Ground

Sideboard: (15)
Anger of the Gods
Destructive Revelry
Fade into Antiquity
Pithing Needle
Simic Charm

So, sorry for the no-deck bummer.


Does this deck look like anything but fun? It says something about the kind of player I am that my mind goes straight to adding more mana ramp and resiliency. Clearly some cards are here for shock and awe, another kind of fun. Worldspine Worm is insane. I want some number of Elvish Mystics in here (that number is four). This deck’s pilot wants to be casting Unexpected Results and Blast of Genius as quickly as possible.

From Mike after reading the article:

Hahaha, awesome article. One correction: I can’t scry before using Unexpected Results as UR tells me to shuffle before revealing a card. 

Also, side note: I am determined to improve this crazy thing and win at least one tournament at 20 sided with it.

I guess I should read the cards.

I would also think about Borborygmus. We’re already renting a room in Travis Woo’s building, why not join the co-op board? Here’s a previous Standard Woo Brew with similar janky-fun ideas (and potential turn three kills).

Unexpected OmniBor by Travis Woo

Creatures (5)
Angel of Serenity
Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker
Borborygmos Enraged

Spells (29)
Detention Sphere
Enter the Infinite
Verdant Haven
Supreme Verdict
Unexpected Results
Increasing Ambition
Urban Evolution
Garruk, Primal Hunter
Lands (26)
Glacial Fortress
Hallowed Fountain
Watery Grave
Blood Crypt
Stomping Ground
Sunpetal Grove
Temple Garden
Godless Shrine
Overgrown Tomb
Breeding Pool
Hinterland Harbor
Kessig Wolf Run

Sideboard (15)
Rest in Peace
Loxodon Smiter
Restoration Angel
Vraska the Unseen
Angel of Serenity
Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker

Woo’s deck has access to focused mid-range cards and life gain. In a field that is populated by red decks (and out of no where aggro blue decks) it seems life gain might be necessary if one is waiting to “go off”. Maybe some number of cards with Scry so the Unexpected Results could be set up rather than totally random—Unless the random aspects of the card is a significant percentage of its fun-value for you.

There’s lots to think about here. It does seem like one’d have to be playing this for the thrill of the potential and occasional blow out weirdo win. If having fun is tied to winning lots of MTG matches, however, I highly recommend not giving this deck a try! Regardless, it was a hilarious match I played with Mike. When someone is as happy to play the game as he is I can’t imagine smiles only existing on his side of the table.

Here’re a few random thoughts to close out this abortion of an article (I swear I had high hopes).

I saw pretty awful/gross decks like this one being played (remember birds and swords? That was the best time in my MTG life, birds and swords, the best):

photo 2

I’m pretty sure it’s Mike Herbig on UW’s ones and twos. Christ. This thing looks like a horror to play against. I’m calling it—in the Theros narrative we’re going to find out that Elspeth is actually Liliana’s sister and they’ve been evil’ing together forever, just Elspeth’s been playing the good planeswalker. What I’m saying is that this card is a slow and controlling nightmare. Mike Herbig probably loves it.

OH! And Hunter is making us all write something about the one-year anniversary and 500th article (this is the 501st) for Hipsters of the Coast. I’m not even a little bit of a pro-anniversary kind of guy (not a fan of holidays except for the day off from work, not a fan of birthdays, weddings, graduations, really anything that fucks up my normal work schedule/life). I feel like we show our strength and dedication by putting out varied content daily (varied in quality, quantity, and subject matter). Some very good voices have come out of this venture and it’s been interesting to be a part of the team, so to speak (I don’t much like teams either), and watch us all evolve as players, writers, and people. I’m glad that I thought Hipsters of the Coast was the most clever name for a Magic: The Gathering blog I’ve ever heard and that the guy who came up with it played at my local store (Zac Clark, Durdle Magus). Asking him if I could fuck around with design and edit his articles were two other good Jones decisions. I’ve yet to seriously regret asking Hunter “Rolex” Slaton to help and take over editing duties (Rolex is one hard working motherfucker). Finding out Dave McCoy is a robot made the decision to bring him aboard on the back-end super correct. My fellow writers continue to churn out quality articles filled with community, compassion, and insight. I’m grateful to be a part of such a hardworking and dedicated web presence.

What more could we ask for? We only need to keep it up (that’s what the actress said to the bishop).

I maintain that my favorite things about Magic: The Gathering are connecting with brilliant-exceptional people and laughing.

Thanks for reading,

MTGO: The_Obliterator

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